Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Oh happy Day

8:00am I'm on my way to the Dentist. Well to get technical endodontics office. So I'm sitting in the Dr. office waiting for the dreaded root canal..and they slip this little thing over my nose.....sweet sweet Jesus...It is like all my cares float out the big bay window in front of me..what may you ask is causing my abnormally happy pleasent mood......the laughing gas...its a beautiful thing....next time you are at the dentist give it a whirl....you can thank me later...never again will you care that a strange man (my new dentisit) having his chuby little hand crammed in your mouth whistling as he drills into you gums......oh happy day!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Cottage anticts

Edwards 40 Hands:
Also known as 80 Ounces to Freedom or The 40 Challenge. This is a drinking game in which each player duct tapes a 40 oz. bottle of alcohal (usually malt liquor) to each of his or her hands and is not allowed to remove them until they've been consumed. Typically, before the alcohol has been completely ingested, the drinking party will need to urinate, smoke a cigarette, answer a phone call, or something similar, giving each participant an incentive to finish their alcohol as quickly as possible. This often leads to humorous scenes of similarly-handicapped players attempting to unzip others' pants or light cigarettes using teeth, feet, or elbows. It can also be used as a "goal" for the game: to see who can abstain from these activities until they are finished with their drinks.

Yes ladies and Gentlemen it has made it into the Wikipedia....

This was the start to my weekend at the cottage....good times..

Sunday, July 15, 2007


1 bottle of Vodka $26.99

1Bottle Tequila (ole!) $12.47

1 Bottle of the Captain $14.72

2 Buckets of Margatitaville Margarita mix $12.49

Memories at the cottage and friendships that will last forever priceless!

Going up to the cottage for a few days where we will party with my good friend The Captain, and his friends Mr. Smirnoff, the Mexican (Jose Cuervo) and after all this the Dr. may make a few appearance. A guest list to impress tonight.

Yesterday My brother (The ape like one without his license) decided that he had to call into work BECAUSE....he did not have a ride...due to the fact i was asleep and he has learned not to wake me up for this particular reason, but come on are you kidding me...how he still has a job is beyond me..lets get serious for a minute we live on the SAME street he works on.....now it's not like next door it is maybe 1/4 of a mile. God for bid Bubba has to walk somewhere. That really annoyed me for some reason....you know what i else i hope he is reading this now...ok enough of that off to the cottage at least i miss work for a good reason here...

Friday, July 13, 2007


I work at a Dr.'s office. Well although he is not a Dr. this is an office & he wears a lab coat. Right now you are probably envisioning some strange smelling sleazy looking back alley clinic where crack heads get 2 for 1 deals on happy pills...I promise you this is not like that...We do however sell Happy pills for kids. My boss is from China and works in Chinese medicine. He has a very thick accent with a chronic case of the munchies....So this is how my typical day goes here.....


Joe (this isn't his name just what he likes to be called)

"Hey are you hungry yet" (you must envision this with an accent to get the full effect)


"Nope not yet"

"Yeah me neither"

"I am Starving man, all i can think about is that good pepperchonie"

"it's not even noon and your thinking about pizza your crazy"

"Hahahahahaa ima going to order"

"go with your bad self then Joe"
...30 seconds go by and i hear screams from his office..nothing new but i had to go and investigate...i walk in and he is jumping up and down chanting Pepperchonie Pepper-CHONIEEEEEEEE..i take the phone from Joe and calmly say he would like a pepperoni pizza and hang up.


"I know Joe I Know" as I turn and walk out I hear the faint sound of Chinese cursing lingering in the distance, and cant help but wonder what the hell I have gotten myself into at this place.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Hello is this thing Onn....

I'm @shley I live in NY. Not the Sex and the City kind either. Upstate blahh.... I have a boyfriend named Dave he is wonderful and cute and funny....he can be a stinky cheese head at times..
I have become what I inevitably never wanted to be....a townie. I have had it embedded in me since birth to loathe the "The Suny Kids".Enough of that though.....

My Family consists of an odd bunch...I have an ape like younger brother. He is ape like in a sense that he walks around all chest puffed out gloating in the fact that he towers a foot over me. Nice. He also does not have a drivers license nor a permit for that matter....Jesus Christ he is going to be flippin 19 and his lone means of transportation is us (i.e me and my mom). And don't get me started on the fact that he doesn't ever give me any cash for gas..and when i do ask him because the car is on E and we are coasting down this hill praying to sweet baby Jesus that we don't run out, he reacts like i am asking him to donate a fucking a kidney...I'm like get over it Bubba...this ain't no free ride & go into the "life isn't a free ride speech" that i am entitled to give him becuase of the fact i am older wiser and much more attractive that being said...he once gave me exactly the cost of 1 gallon of gas $2.75...and acted like it was goddamn Armageddon.

My Mom...She is the marshmallow to the this rice krispy treat called life. She holds it all together...most of the time..she does have tendency to reach her breaking point and preforms what we refer to as "The Hockey Move." I personally have never had to endure this. My brother on the other not so lucky. In my moms defense he was being an annoying little bugger that day. So she ran up to him and all I remember was him flinching (that was his first problem) she grabbed his shirt pulled it up over his back onto his head so he was immobile. Then proceeded to Karate chopp him up for a good 2 mins strait..this was a sight. Once free couldn't comprehend what had just hit him and they both fell over laughing hysterically..

Yes this is my family and I do love them.