Wednesday, March 19, 2008

No Assembly required

I will never ever buy another piece of furniture that has to be put together AGAIN. 3 hours later my high top table and 4 high top charis are assembled.......Why did it take so long you may ask, Well you silly internet I put it together in the living room so I could watch The Real World and when I went to carry it into the kitchen it didnt fit through the doorway so I had to take it apart again and get it in there. A little advice from not mix wine and furniture assembly at 12:00am.....the 2 just don't mix well

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


So I got an email today about my blog from an editor at....ELLE magazine They like me they really like me. I can hardly contain my self I don't know weather or not to pee my pants from excitement, or puke. This editor said that they could be interested in WORKING with ME.....uh helllllooo how stellar would that be? It is taking all the strength I have to not call her back at the number she gave me. At this point I would probably pay them to let me blog for there site/magazine. So, I have to hold off until I get off this natural high and get my head together, so I can talk business. Keep your fingers crossed.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

It's all down hill from here.....

8:00am My first patients comes shuffling through the door with her walker and plastic bag covering here new hair do. She is about 70 and can hardly move. She has a hump on her back and toots every time she takes a step....pleasent....As she makes her way over to my desk she reaches into her gym bag. Yes, she has started to lug around a gym bag with her everywhere she goes. She keeps it filled with magazines on animal rights, Greek recipes, and random literature. Because you never know when you may run into a hungry Greek man looking for literature on hearing aides who also is ill informed on the growing rates of animal kill shelters....... whheww....anyway getting off topic she rummages into her large bag of crap and pulls out a copy of a article from a magazine hands it to me and says..."I think this will do you some good". So as with the other pamphlets I receive I toss it on my desk stick her in a room and head back to see what she brought in....I started reading it and it is all about how I have reached my peak in life at age 21 and its all down hill from here.....WOW this is exactly what I want to be hearing while half asleep and a little hungover from a long night of guitar hero and drinks with friends. The article goes on to say that I am loosing flexibility and my bone mass is already depleting. It said my brain is loosing fluid around it and my memory will start to decline in a few years......??????....What the hell. It said that by age 20 your calcium levels start dropping, and I should be taking supplements. Supplements I'm freaking 21 i don't need to be taking supplements. Next it will be saying I need to start drinking boots or ensure. If that isn't goddamn depression I don't know what is. There was also a lot of other crap in their that I really couldn't choke down that early in the morning. I shredded the article and went to the gas station up the road to get a vitamin water, because you know now that I'm becoming an old hag I should try and get vitamins anywhere I can. Upon my return back to work I called my mom told her the lovely news, and asked her if she wanted a copy....hehehe. When the old lady came out and asked me what I thought I said "Helen, that was too goddamn depression for 8 in the morning. I would much rather of gotten another freaking baklava recipe"