Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Golden Years??--- My Ass

If you have read my blog before you understand the fact that I get my fair share of craziness on a daily basis...Today's craziness comes from the old fogey community. Here are a few snippets of my conversations with them today......

9 am with Helen.

H- "I can't Make my appointment today, I'm sick"

Me- " Sorry to hear that I hope that I hope your okay"

H- "Well sweetheart I got 2 pairs of underwear on, because the diarrhea is so bad. On top of that I keep UPCHUCKING all over the house."

Me- "........" " Uhhh.... ..... Feel better BYE"

( To get the real essence of my conversation with bob you have got to picture the tiniest little white haired man with a booming southern twang...)

B - "SO I done can't go out walkin no more. Due to this here leg of mine."

Me- (Let me start by saying Bob had'nt said a word to me since he had gotten here..40 mins ago and comes out of left field with this interesting convo)
" Well bob, that sucks you should get one of those rascal things. "
B- " I think its a corn that is hurting me.."

Me- " .........hmmm...ouch"

B - " Actually the foot man said that it is my bone sticking out through the bottom wanna take a gander"

Me ( trying not to "upchuck") "Bob you need to keep your foot in your shoe away from me on the other side of the counter ."

Bob's wife went out shopping after her treatment and left him here....he fell asleep with his mouth wide open...snoring.


Helen called back later in the day to update me? WTF man.

H- " The diarrhea has stopped a little, the Upchucking is still pretty nasty"

Me- ".................(ughhh) Well maybe you should get off the phone and rest"

H-" Well call me back in a few hours to check on me ok? will you do that? Will you call me back?"

Me- ( is she kidding?....It's the flu lady you made it through the depression a war the 70's I'm sure you will survive a stomach bug)....I will have the doc give ya a call in a bit...."

Joe can handle this one for a while.

Lastly john

J-" You watch 60 mins"

ME-"ehh sometimes why..." (why...always my first mistake)

J-" Andy Rooney can go and shove something up his you know what"

Me- whheeww oh no you didn't......

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