You got a PURTY MOUTH...

This past weekend I attended a Family reunion. More like a circus then a reunion. I have been abscent from the festivities for last 3 years. Because I am the oh holy protacal child who can do no wrong, I decided to grace the family with my prescence. let me give you a BREIF backround so you can paint a pretty little picture in your head.
My Grandpa is like 1 out of 15 kids. Living out in the middle of the Adirondacks with no Moving Picture Box, or People Magazine Subscription things get pretty boring I guess, and as a result of this he got 15 brothers and sisters. Ohhh my god my family is like the DUGGARDS!....oh god off topic... Anyway they are hillbillys and everytime I look at one I hear the music from delivernce playing on a continuous loop in my head. There was this one that use to follow me around with his camera my uncle and he would just take 100's of picture of me for his "Picture Book". He has not been since I stopped attending 3 years ago and thankfully he was not there Saturday. THen we have this women with 2 lazy eyes who IS OBSESSED with my mom. First off when I look at her I don't know where to look. One eye is looking North East and the other is looking somewhere West so I kind of aim north in between her eyebrow...Yes eyebrow singular. There is one. She named her daughter after my mom...Apparently the story goes..She was suppose to have a boy but when that sucker popped out it was a girl and the only name that came to her mind was AMY the name of her most favorite cousin. Just the thought of this women giving birth and the only thing getting her to pull throught was her favorite cousin AMY killed me...It's funny because they did not grow up together they don't hang out or talk on the phone...I dont even think my mom knows what this lady's name is to be honest. But every year she tells that story to anyone who will listen, and then she follows my mom around snapping pictures for "little amys picture book"....My moms "Namessake." hahahahhahahahaha........